Mattheus
Dear friends and loved ones,
2hrs 42mins was duration of my son’s life on this earth on the morning of 21 January 2005. Mattheus Tan was born to Martin and Daphne Tan at home at 9.40am. At 22 weeks and slightly over 500 grams, being extremely premature, our son left us to be with the Lord. The fact that he is with the Lord brings immense comfort in our time of grief.
To be honest, we really don’t know what caused the premature birth that results in his untimely death. In fact, I have a feeling that I’ll never know until when I’m with my Father in heaven. I’ll probably ask Him why would He be so cruel as to take my son from me. My first born whom He gave as a gift to us. We chose Mattheus because the name meant “gift of God”. Perhaps it’s apt.
I know God will have an answer that will astound me but I just can’t see it today.
However, there are many things I’m grateful for as I still see His gracious hands at work. A paradox that baffles and an irony that is bitterly sweet.
As a Father, I’m thankful that despite my baby being born without anyone beside Daphne, 45mins without oxygen, or the little his small lungs could cope with, Mattheus survived for more than 2 hours. A period just enough for his Dad and Mum to hold him in this world and experience the joy of parenthood, and for him, to experience our love. A short period but nevertheless, important and sweet. I believe God allowed Mattheus to survive just enough so that we could hold him alive, something that I’m eternally grateful for. Medically, there is no way he could survive out of his mother’s womb for 45 min without medical aid. But God intervened, just enough.
As a Husband, I’m thankful that Daphne is safe and sound with me. Given that she went into premature labour at 22 weeks, and that she delivered Mattheus without anyone at home, Daphne gave birth to our son as if someone was there to usher the baby out. Though remnants of placenta was found to have remained in her womb, the umbilical cord snapped in a way that Daphne is safe and her womb continues to be healthy. It is as if God was the midwife doing everything necessary to ensure that Daphne is safe. In the midst of extreme trauma and tragedy, God intervened. Just enough for Daphne to be safe and us able to be parents again in the not to distant future.
What more can we ask for as parents and me as a Husband? I can see so many others who may not have the blessings as us, to survive a premature labour and to hold our 22 weeks old baby in our arms, even if it’s for only a few min.
So I’m thankful and grateful for all that has happened. I’m leaving all the painful questions that I have now for heaven. When I get there, I’m certain for two things. I’ll get the answers I want from God and see my son, the Mattheus he was meant to be.
I’m also thankful for friends and loved ones who have surrounded us in this time of need. Every single word spoken and every single hug counts so much to us. I stand at the crematorium seeing the many friends who made their way to bid farewell to a baby they have not even met, let alone know his name. But your presence made so much difference. Apart from the strength from the Lord holding us up, it is your love that made everything meaningful and manageable.
So as a couple, we want to thank you, every single one of you for praying for us, standing by us, helping us, walking with us, crying with us and mourning with us. It’s not an easy time but we’ll get though it with the Lord’s strength and grace, and with you surrounding us with your prayers.
Thank you for your love shown towards us. For that, we are eternally grateful.
HisDonkey
Martin & Daphne Tan
2hrs 42mins was duration of my son’s life on this earth on the morning of 21 January 2005. Mattheus Tan was born to Martin and Daphne Tan at home at 9.40am. At 22 weeks and slightly over 500 grams, being extremely premature, our son left us to be with the Lord. The fact that he is with the Lord brings immense comfort in our time of grief.
To be honest, we really don’t know what caused the premature birth that results in his untimely death. In fact, I have a feeling that I’ll never know until when I’m with my Father in heaven. I’ll probably ask Him why would He be so cruel as to take my son from me. My first born whom He gave as a gift to us. We chose Mattheus because the name meant “gift of God”. Perhaps it’s apt.
I know God will have an answer that will astound me but I just can’t see it today.
However, there are many things I’m grateful for as I still see His gracious hands at work. A paradox that baffles and an irony that is bitterly sweet.
As a Father, I’m thankful that despite my baby being born without anyone beside Daphne, 45mins without oxygen, or the little his small lungs could cope with, Mattheus survived for more than 2 hours. A period just enough for his Dad and Mum to hold him in this world and experience the joy of parenthood, and for him, to experience our love. A short period but nevertheless, important and sweet. I believe God allowed Mattheus to survive just enough so that we could hold him alive, something that I’m eternally grateful for. Medically, there is no way he could survive out of his mother’s womb for 45 min without medical aid. But God intervened, just enough.
As a Husband, I’m thankful that Daphne is safe and sound with me. Given that she went into premature labour at 22 weeks, and that she delivered Mattheus without anyone at home, Daphne gave birth to our son as if someone was there to usher the baby out. Though remnants of placenta was found to have remained in her womb, the umbilical cord snapped in a way that Daphne is safe and her womb continues to be healthy. It is as if God was the midwife doing everything necessary to ensure that Daphne is safe. In the midst of extreme trauma and tragedy, God intervened. Just enough for Daphne to be safe and us able to be parents again in the not to distant future.
What more can we ask for as parents and me as a Husband? I can see so many others who may not have the blessings as us, to survive a premature labour and to hold our 22 weeks old baby in our arms, even if it’s for only a few min.
So I’m thankful and grateful for all that has happened. I’m leaving all the painful questions that I have now for heaven. When I get there, I’m certain for two things. I’ll get the answers I want from God and see my son, the Mattheus he was meant to be.
I’m also thankful for friends and loved ones who have surrounded us in this time of need. Every single word spoken and every single hug counts so much to us. I stand at the crematorium seeing the many friends who made their way to bid farewell to a baby they have not even met, let alone know his name. But your presence made so much difference. Apart from the strength from the Lord holding us up, it is your love that made everything meaningful and manageable.
So as a couple, we want to thank you, every single one of you for praying for us, standing by us, helping us, walking with us, crying with us and mourning with us. It’s not an easy time but we’ll get though it with the Lord’s strength and grace, and with you surrounding us with your prayers.
Thank you for your love shown towards us. For that, we are eternally grateful.
HisDonkey
Martin & Daphne Tan
posted by powerdonk at Monday, January 24, 2005
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